Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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