How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
