just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
