The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
