guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
My vagina just recognized that song.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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