Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
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