My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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