Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
