I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
