I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
