is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
