She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
it was like eating out sand paper
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I could fuck to npr.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
