BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
