talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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