I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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