Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm too high and old for this...
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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