I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Randomize
