just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
