ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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