So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
