Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Did I show you my penis last night?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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