1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
