Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
