so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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