I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
