I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
