Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
