is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize