the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
