he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
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