hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
