The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
