I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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