I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
