Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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