fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
