I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
