brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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