the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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