This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
