i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Randomize
