Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
