i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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