Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
