college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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