it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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