Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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