I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
