dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
what is it with giant penises always finding me
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
