just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
