just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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