this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.