If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Randomize
