drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
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drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
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I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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