smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
