Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
